Thursday, March 1, 2012

How to remove a golfball from your face.

I've been feeling a little more scratchy in my throat lately (I know impossible for this deep voiced mama) and just overall gross with little energy, headaches, body aches, etc. to which I've attributed my recent coming of age of 31.  However, today I woke up with something similar to a golfball on my right cheek/jaw area. 

To which I said - husband - can you tell if I'm swollen on my face because it feels really swollen? 
To which he replies - do you really want me to answer that?
To which I reply - dickhead.

(yes that's how our 6:30 a.m. started today)

Well the pain intensifies and I call my friend to see if she will take the kids for an hour so I can go to the walk in clinic to have them to tell me I have strep throat and grow up and stop being a baby.

1 hour later a very concerned looking doctor says he's going to get me to a surgeon TODAY.  Huh?
I have some kind of abscess somewhere on the right side of my face/cheek and I'm leaving in ten minutes to go have needles poked and prodded into this lovely masterpiece so remove the golfball.

And I can't chew.  So I can't eat lunch. And that makes this muffin top mama the most mad of all.
I totally had a BBQ roast and bacon and cheese tortilla planned for lunch.  But I can only open my mouth about an inch.

Oh and we're eating Black Market Pizza tomorrow night.  I may go on a rampage if I can't chew by tomorrow.

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